My First Job

(Your marked-up try out is below this form.) HOW THIS WORKS: Your passenger car has scripted overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your instill has withal embedded comments [in this color, bold and in brackets] passim your essay. Hi, Lisa. Im Alicia, your tutor for this write of your essay. Welcome! I enjoyed see your bestow! Essay Summary This essay explains how the writer acquired a first billet and summarizes the job duties, noting that the writer learned to address money. Strengths of the Essay In this draft, it was refreshing to explain how you felt (in bringition to what happened). The proof indorser desires to understand what you felt. present is one example: I was so excited, yet so nervous Nice work! theme development First, Lisa, when you tell a story, you take away to complicate so much detail that the reader can see and insure what happened. In this draft, you do not include enough detail. allows look at one example: I went in and had the interview with the parentage manager. It lasted perhaps about twenty dollar bill minutes. hither, you summarize what happened, but you include no detail, so the reader cannot truly understand what happened. Here is an example of how you can gibe more detail: I went in and had the interview with the retention manager, who seemed to be about ___ age old.

[Describe manager.] The manager asked me ____ and ____. I explained that ____. It lasted maybe about twenty minutes. You take upt need to include every detail of what happened; quite select the almost intere sting or important details and add those. ! This is besides one example. I noted different questions in your draft to help you break down started, but you should add detail throughout your essay. Watch for places you only summarize what happened; then, add specific details. entree/Conclusion Next, in your conclusion, Lisa, you focus on a field of battle you have not developed in your essaysomething you chiefly want to avoid. You write, I learned how to manage my money....If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website: OrderCustomPaper.com

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